It is an interesting phenomenon where often the people who face the most difficulties, bear witness to the most devastating experiences, wear the kindest smiles. Dr. Staudt donned a warm grin, curving the corners of her eyes into a pleasant “How do you do?” – a death doula in our midst. She began by asking us our names, what our experience has been like, if we had any questions. Though this hour was meant to be for her, she ceded, instead preferring to use the time to know more about us. She patiently gave us individual advice, and our group conversation covered everything from our personal experiences to best practices when caring for patients and family undergoing loss and grief. I was thankful for the chance to get to know my peers better, and, while our experiences varied, there were underlying themes. Love, gratitude, patience, listening, and connections. And that is when I realized – Dr. Staudt was actively demonstrating for us her wisdom. Before my very eyes, connections were built and understanding towards one another was fostered. In the face of human passing, Dr. Staudt mends together people.
She left us with this: We often gain more, learn more from the patients than they do from us.
You do not need to be a volunteer to come to our sessions! We hope to see you at future meetups.
Christina Staudt is a scholar on death, dying, and grief, and is co-chair of the Columbia University Seminar on Death and co-founder and past President of the Westchester End-of-Life Coalition, a nonprofit that aims to bring compassion and guidance to those with life limiting conditions. She received a Ph.D. in art history from Columbia in 2001. She is a trained death doula and also advises At Your Service through the Research Cluster on Science and Subjectivity